Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry

"I don’t write all this so anyone will feel sorry for me—I write these words because they are true. I write them because someone else may be confused by the fact that they know they should stop drinking—like me, they have all the information, and they understand the consequences—but they still can’t stop drinking. You are not alone, my brothers and sisters. (In the dictionary under the word “addict,” there should be a picture of me looking around, very confused.) - Matthew Perry

I have never been a regular viewer of Friends but on those occasions when I did watch the show the character that always stood out for me was Chandler. I found Chandler handsome, charming, funny and I felt the same for Matthew Perry who portrayed him. I've been aware of the decades long drug and alcohol addiction problems Matthew Perry has had and when his memoir Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing (2022) came out to critical praise I wanted to read what he had to say. I was curious why Perry's addiction to drugs and alcohol started and what he has learned along the way.

And so when Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing begins we are at a crisis moment in Matthew Perry's life. It was 2018 and as he tells us his colon exploded due to years of opioid use. It was a life threatening situation and after this dramatic opening some readers may decide they've had enough. But that would be a mistake.

I know for myself that I learned alot not only about Perry's struggles with substance abuse which is the major part of the book but also about his childhood growing up in Ottawa and Los Angeles. He had plans as a teenager to become a tennis pro but realized he was good but would never be great. And so following in his father's footsteps he decided to give acting a try. He loved it and was great at it. We learn about Perry's audition for Friends and he continues to be extremely grateful for his time on the show and remains close with the cast and crew to this day.

And that is what is so admirable about this memoir because as hard as Matthew Perry can be on himself, he is very generous when talking about his parents, siblings, friends, girlfriends, co-stars. This is a serious memoir about addiction and I finished the book wanting the best for Matthew Perry and if a reader is a fan of Chandler I think knowing about the actor who portrayed him will not disappoint. I recommend Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing and I believe its a book that will help people.

Later - I decided to shorten the above review from my original post.  I felt the first review was a bit too long and that I gave away too much detail.  It's always better for the reader to discover what's in the book themselves.  But I stand by my initial thoughts which are that Friends Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing is a brave and very honest memoir and well worth your time.