Wednesday, April 26, 2023

Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte


"When we wish to decide upon the merits of a governess, we naturally look at the young ladies she professes to have educated, and judge accordingly.  The judicious governess knows this: she knows that, while she lives in obscurity herself, her pupils’ virtues and defects will be open to every eye; and that, unless she loses sight of herself in their cultivation, she need not hope for success.  You see, Miss Grey, it is just the same as any other trade or profession: they that wish to prosper must devote themselves body and soul to their calling; and if they begin to yield to indolence or self-indulgence they are speedily distanced by wiser competitors"  

Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte (1847) is a reread.  I must have read it over twenty years ago and I was uderwhelmed at the time possibly because I had just finished Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights which is brilliant and Agnes Grey is not in that league.  But since then I have read Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte and Anne Bronte's The Tennant of Wildfell Hall and I have become a big Broute fan not only in terms of their writing but the courage these three sisters had in living their lives with death all around them and yet never giving up on their dreams.  

So with that in mind it was time for a reread of Agnes Grey and I was pleasantly suprised.  I liked the book the second time around.   I found Agnes Grey to be a good first start to a novelist's career.  Anne Bronte had talent and promise and she was ahead of her time in dealing with issues like what being a governess was really like and it was not an easy job.

Agnes Grey takes place in the North of England during the mid-nineteenth century where Agnes lives with her parents and sister Mary.  It's a happy family but poor and when Agnes's father loses money in a bad business deal Agnes offers to apply for a governess  position.  She is excited about the idea.  How wonderful to earn one's own money and be with children and teach them what they need to know.

The first family Agnes goes to work for are the Bloomfields.  The children are a nightmare and the oldest son enjoys torturing small animals.  Agnes soon leaves that situation and gets a new job working for the wealthy Murray family. They have two daughters, Rosalie and Matilda.  These young women are not the terrors the Bloomfield children were but they are spoiled young ladies who are used to getting their own way. 

Rosalie is beautiful but vain and a flirt.  She is set on marrying Sir Thomas Ashbury but in the meantime why not have fun with other suitors, particularly the rector Mr. Hatfield who Rosalie actually cares about.  Agnes tries to tell Rosalie that toying with the feelings of Mr. Hatfield is not a good thing to do.  And Agnes has worries that Rosalie is making a mistake with Sir Thomas Ashbury who she senses is not a great catch.  But Rosalie is set on marrying him and being the mistress of his great estate.  

As for Agnes there is a love interest as well, the local curate Edward Weston.  Agnes meets him when she is visiting Nancy Brown, a poor elderly woman with failing eyesight.  Agnes enjoys talking with Nancy and Edward regularly checks in on Nancy as well.  As Bronte heroes go Edward Weston is different.  He is not violent like Heathcliffe or brooding and hiding a secret like Mr. Rochester.  He's a good man, smart and he knows that religion is not simply words but deeds.  

And so I am glad I reread Agnes Grey and a bit sad too because I have no further Anne Bronte novels to read and it's clear had she lived she would have had alot to say about Victorian society, religion and the role of women.  But I am grateful for all of the Bronte novels we do have.

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry


"I don’t write all this so anyone will feel sorry for me—I write these words because they are true. I write them because someone else may be confused by the fact that they know they should stop drinking—like me, they have all the information, and they understand the consequences—but they still can’t stop drinking. You are not alone, my brothers and sisters. (In the dictionary under the word “addict,” there should be a picture of me looking around, very confused.) - Matthew Perry

I have never been a regular viewer of Friends but on those occasions when I did watch the show the character that always stood out for me was Chandler. I found Chandler handsome, charming, funny and I felt the same for Matthew Perry who portrayed him. I've been aware of the decades long drug and alcohol addiction problems Matthew Perry has had and when his memoir Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing (2022) came out to critical praise I wanted to read what he had to say. I was curious why Perry's addiction to drugs and alcohol started and what he has learned along the way.

And so when Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing begins we are at a crisis moment in Matthew Perry's life. It was 2018 and as he tells us his colon exploded due to years of opioid use. It was a life threatening situation and after this dramatic opening some readers may decide they've had enough. But that would be a mistake.

I know for myself that I learned alot not only about Perry's struggles with substance abuse which is the major part of the book but also about his childhood growing up in Ottawa and Los Angeles. He had plans as a teenager to become a tennis pro but realized he was good but would never be great. And so following in his father's footsteps he decided to give acting a try. He loved it and was great at it. We learn about Perry's audition for Friends and he continues to be extremely grateful for his time on the show and remains close with the cast and crew to this day.

And that is what is so admirable about this memoir because as hard as Matthew Perry can be on himself, he is very generous when talking about his parents, siblings, friends, girlfriends, co-stars. This is a serious memoir about addiction and I finished the book wanting the best for Matthew Perry and if a reader is a fan of Chandler I think knowing about the actor who portrayed him will not disappoint. I recommend Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing and I believe its a book that will help people.

Later - I decided to shorten the above review from my original post.  I felt the first review was a bit too long and that I gave away too much detail.  It's always better for the reader to discover what's in the book themselves.  But I stand by my initial thoughts which are that Friends Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing is a brave and very honest memoir and well worth your time.